Jonathan Crocker

Editorial Director | Journalist

Archive for the ‘Film Reviews’ Category

Film review: Blind Dating

Posted by Jonathan On December - 28 - 2009

blind-datingBefore he went galactic as Star Trek’s new-look Captain Kirk, Chris Pine was stuck with roles like this: a 22-year-old virgin who was born blind but might get his sight back thanks to experimental brain surgery. Casually rugged and charming, Pine does his best to manoeuvre past lines like “I love the sound of your smile” but can’t make this odd little movie work. Read the rest of this entry »

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Film review: Gamer

Posted by Jonathan On December - 27 - 2009

gamerHurtling at you like some surreal techno-nightmare, Gamer is… what, exactly? No easy way to describe this frenetic cyber-thriller from the makers of Crank 2, which imagines an amoral near-future where reclusive citizens control brain-implanted fellow humans like real-life videogame avatars. Sounds crazy? You can’t even guess. Read the rest of this entry »

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Film review: Twilight – New Moon

Posted by Jonathan On December - 25 - 2009

new-moonHot glances, forbidden desires, untamed passions and swooning hearts… Just some of things missing from this bloodless second bite of The R-Pattz Show. Sorry, the Twilight saga. But who are we kidding? You’ll see it anyway.

New Moon is apparently Robert Pattinson’s favourite book of the series. Maybe because it’s the one he’s hardly in. After yet another clumsy moment in the Cullen household (papercut, d’oh!), Edward (Pattinson) decides he must save Bella’s (Kristen Stewart) soul by dumping her – and the movie. Read the rest of this entry »

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Film review: The Cove

Posted by Jonathan On December - 18 - 2009

coveHorror-thriller, gripping expose and devastating agitprop, The Cove takes us to “a little town with a big secret”. Every year in a pretty cove in the Japanese fishing heartland of Taiji, thousands of terrified dolphins are driven in from open water and savagely massacred. We know this thanks to activist dolphin-whisperer Ric O’Barry, who trained these near-sentient mammals for cult ‘60s TV show Flipper – until one of them died in his arms after a tortured existence. Read the rest of this entry »

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Film review: (500) Days Of Summer

Posted by Jonathan On December - 10 - 2009

500-daysBoy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn’t. That bitter twist to the indie rom-com formula is what gives (500) Days of Summer such a surprising emotional kick. Surprising, because the set-up is what-evah: Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is a greetings-card writer who thinks The Graduate has a happy ending, Summer (Zooey Deschanel) is the carefree new-girl-in-the-office who breezes away with his heart. Read the rest of this entry »

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Film review: Funny People

Posted by Jonathan On August - 28 - 2009

funny-peopleHaving sex and kids were the jutting funny bones of The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up, but for his third film as director, Hollywood powerhouse Judd Apatow completes an oddball trilogy-of-life with a serious comedy about death.

It’s Apatow’s richest, riskiest movie yet – and his most personal. Read the rest of this entry »

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Film review: Funny Games US

Posted by Jonathan On August - 27 - 2009

funny-games-usA violent film without on-screen violence. A film where dogs are dead meat instead of rescuers. Where leg wounds mean you can’t walk, where daring escapes fail, where victims wet themselves in fear. Just like his throat-grabbing crossover stunners The Piano Teacher and Hidden, Michael Haneke’s 1997 chiller Funny Games was never what it appeared to be. Read the rest of this entry »

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Film review: Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince

Posted by Jonathan On July - 8 - 2009

half-blood-princeEver since we walked in on Harry fumbling with his glowing wand under the bed sheets at the start of Azkaban, the Potter franchise has secretly been about (whisper it) s-e-x as much as anything else.

Inside the first few minutes of The Half-Blood Prince, the boy wizard is chatted up by a saucy London waitress who puts it on a plate for him. But, as ever, he’s whisked away by Dumbledore (Michael Gambon)… Read the rest of this entry »

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Film review: Public Enemies

Posted by Jonathan On July - 7 - 2009

public_enemies“I like baseball, movies, good clothes, fast cars and you. What else do you need to know?”

What, indeed? The short, fast life of ’30s American gangster John Dillinger is legend: he robbed banks that robbed the public, becoming a media sensation, a Depression-era folk hero and the first Public Enemy Number One of J Edgar Hoover’s new FBI.

After breaking out of every jail that held him, he was chased across America by G-man Melvin Purvis and at last famously shot dead by police outside the Biograph cinema in Chicago after watching a Clark Gable crime flick.

We know this. Michael Mann knows this. Read the rest of this entry »

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Film review: The Hangover

Posted by Jonathan On June - 14 - 2009

the_hangoverIt’s like Memento. Only drunk. In Vegas. On a stag-do. Three men wake up in a ransacked hotel suite. One of them is naked from the waist down. One of them is missing a tooth. One of them is wearing a hospital bracelet. None of them can remember what the hell happened. Apart from the fact there were four of them the night before. Dude, where’s my groom? Read the rest of this entry »

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About Me

Jonathan is a London-based journalist, critic and editor. He currently works for data visualisation agency Beyond Words.

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