Jonathan Crocker

Editorial Director | Journalist

Archive for the ‘Film’ Category

Billy Bob Thornton: Faster

Posted by Jonathan On February - 8 - 2011

There’s a story that Billy Wilder (legendary Oscar-winning filmmaker) once told Billy Bob Thornton (impoverished LA waiter) that he didn’t look pretty enough to make it as an actor. Thornton didn’t care. Firstly, he didn’t really want to be an actor anyway. Secondly, he looked interesting. And interesting beat pretty any day of the week. The first Billy would live just long enough to watch the second Billy (actor, writer, director) win an Oscar and marry the hottest woman on the planet. Read the rest of this entry »


Film review: The Mechanic

Posted by Jonathan On February - 6 - 2011

The scowl. The muscles. The senseless acts of violence.  Jason Statham IS The Transporter! No, hang on – The Mechanic! Oh, who are we kidding? By now Statham is essentially his own subgenre and Con Air director Simon West’s first film in three years wastes no time in serving up some full-frontal Stath-porn. Read the rest of this entry »


Film review: Transformers

Posted by Jonathan On January - 11 - 2011

Crashing in as a 10-tonne metaphor, Michael Bay’s deafening mega-blockbuster sees humanity attacked by a destructive new super-technology. Well, quite. Yawping a stunning new age for digital animation, Hasbro’s 60ft alien robots transform from helicopters and hi-fis in a seamless spectacle of hydraulic crank and whir, as the evil Decepticons battle the heroic Autobots for mankind’s future. Cue the in-built irony: in Bay’s world, moving parts aren’t for the actors. Read the rest of this entry »


DVD review: Rear Window

Posted by Jonathan On January - 7 - 2011

Look closer… Vertigo’s sick little brother sees snoop reporter Jimmy Stewart stuck in a wheelchair with nothing to do but waggle his long lens at the neighbours. Has he discovered a murder? Should he get involved? Should we? Too late, already. With the camera locked inside Stewart’s room for the entire film, Hitchcock’s chilling essay on voyeurism (read: movie-going) stares right back at you. Meaning? Rear Window is the definitive guilty-pleasure movie. Watch it in a double-bill with Michael Powell’s Peeping Tom, then go for counseling. Read the rest of this entry »


Simon Pegg: Nerd Do Well

Posted by Jonathan On October - 15 - 2010

Is there anything controversial in your new autobiography?

No, not really. I mean, there’s whole thing about Meredith Catsanus… I’m sure that particular girl wouldn’t have minded me telling the story.

Go on…

I kind of say, ‘This isn’t going to be a tell-all. I’m not going to talk about my first sexual experience.’ But then I do, about touching this girl’s boobs. And I didn’t want to name her. I do name a lot of friends from childhood – because I didn’t touch their boobs. Read the rest of this entry »


Top 8: Movie Walks

Posted by Jonathan On September - 28 - 2010

1. Hadrian’s Wall National Trail

WHERE: Cumbria, Northumberland and Tyneside

AS SEEN IN: The tree at Sycamore Gap in Hadrian’s Wall is the one that Kevin Costner walloped Norman soldiers under in the film Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves.

BEST FOOTAGE: Costner was supposed to be rambling from Dover to Nottingham, so quite how he ended up at Hadrian’s Wall is anyone’s guess. Read the rest of this entry »


Film review: Eat Pray Love

Posted by Jonathan On September - 24 - 2010

If you watch Eat Pray Love with your brain switched on and two eyes open, there’s plenty to turn your stomach. Bon appetite: wealthy, beautiful, successful woman (Julia Roberts) with handsome, loving husband (poor Billy Crudup) decides it’s just not good enough and chucks it all away. She instantly and inexplicably pulls hottie toy-boy James Franco. Then chucks him. Then flounces round the world, doing nothing except eating delicious food in gorgeous countries. Feel sick yet? We’re not done. Read the rest of this entry »


Blu-ray review: The Magnificent Seven

Posted by Jonathan On September - 23 - 2010

And then there was one… Fifty years later, Robert Vaughn is the only member of The Magnificent Seven left alive. But as icons on the Western landscape, they’re as immortal as Monument Valley.

Well, apart from Brad Dexter, who lives on as a pub-quiz answer. And Horst Buchholz. Who? Exactly. Amazingly, the film’s best role – made famous by Toshiro Mifune’s feral, ferocious performance in Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai – went to a German actor making his American debut as a Mexican gunfighter called Chico. Go figure. Read the rest of this entry »


DVD review: Jennifer’s Body

Posted by Jonathan On September - 22 - 2010

It sounded like one salty morsel: hottest girl on the planet stars as flesh-eating cheerleader in hipster horror-comedy written by Oscar-winning tattooed ex-stripper who can turn an indie comedy into a blockbuster. It sounded satirical, sexy, scary. So why did Jennifer’s Body end being none of those things? Why did audiences end up seeing 2012 and New Moon instead? Read the rest of this entry »


Adam Sandler: Funny How?

Posted by Jonathan On September - 13 - 2010

When asked to speak at a convention of cinema-owners in Las Vegas, the star of Big Daddy and Little Nicky addressed the crowd with the following words: “My name is Adam Sandler. I’m not particularly talented. I’m not particularly good-looking. And yet I’m a multi-millionaire.” Everyone laughed. Read the rest of this entry »


About Me

Jonathan is a London-based journalist, critic and editor. He currently works for data visualisation agency Beyond Words.



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